Pete Zahut

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Posts by Pete Zahut

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  11

  My Mother reach out to me AGAIN!

  by HereIgo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  about 3 weeks ago i created a thread due to my mom reaching out to me (we hadn't talked in over 2 years due to typical jw politics).

  well, today she reached out again thought facebook messenger saying " i'm so sorry i hurt you my beautiful baby boy.

  i'm hurting very much also.

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  Pete Zahut

  Why would she shun you then contact you just to rub it in and say that it's your fault that you're being shunned? That's not loving....that's just messed up. I think what you said was spot on.
  
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  16

  Would you trust your Doctor if he got things wrong??

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just thinking..... assume we had a family doctor that we had seen all our lives, perhaps he had been the doctor for your extended family too.

  he is lovely man, very kind and honest hearted.. but if he had prescribed treatment or medication that was wrong, and had bad effects on you, then changed the medication to something else, then randomly changed it again etc, how would you feel?.

  if you did some research into him, and found disturbing facts and things in his history that made you question his qualifications, how would you feel?

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  Pete Zahut

  Many JWs are very decent people. Many are very intelligent people too. So it's not about their values nor their capacity to think; its about how they feel.

  JW's when talking about other religions love to apply the scripture at 2 Timothy where it talks about those who want to have their ears "tickled". The reality is, JW's are no different, they want to hear whatever soothes their fears about the future, regardless of the facts.
  
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  13

  JWs and taking blood

  by dogon in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  i have a brother who works in the medical profession and in particular surgery rooms.

  he had a jw woman who needed blood.

  while the jw elders were there she said no blood.

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  Pete Zahut

  I've mentioned this before but my Son's girlfriend graduated top of her class as a RN last year. She was hired immediately by a renowned University Hospital. Part of her employee training course had to do with dealing with the handling of JW's. She hadn't known about the JW blood issue until then, so knowing that we used to be JW's, she wanted to get our take on it.

  She was told that more often than not, when the Liaison Committee leaves the hospital room, JW patients (especially the young ones) tearfully beg the staff not to let them die. They are afraid what will happen if the Congregation finds out so the hospital staff is required to meet with the patient one on one to make sure the patients true wishes are being upheld and to reassure them of their privacy under the HIPPA Laws.

  Although not surprising, this was news to us as it was always presented to us that JW's rarely if ever went against their beliefs on taking blood and we were told to be wary of hospital staff who would try and coerce us into accepting a blood transfusion.
  
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  22

  Who would vote to disband the JW organisation?

  by Half banana in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  from their history, it is evident that jehovah's witnesses are just another doomsday cult.. cults are run by autocrats.

  on purpose they are ideologically fixated and they demand that their devotees hold the same absolute certainty of belief without regard for evidence.

  the suspension of critical thought is encouraged and by focussing on the objectives of the cult belief in a like minded community, it gives both a sense of direction within a sort of ‘family’ and a hope of paradise perfection.. the leaders have everything to gain by controlling their followers; all the income goes in their direction.. democracy has strictly no part in a running cult.

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  Pete Zahut

  I might not want to live in a country where a religion could be disbanded by those who disagreed with it.

  Having said that, it would be nice if there were stronger laws in place protecting those who leave a religious group like the JW's, from having that group take action against them that would impact their private lives. If JW elders found themselves in a position where they could be held personally responsible for the impact of their decisions, they might be less likely to police individuals activities outside the walls of the kingdom hall.
  
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  18

  Prince wanted Obama to ban birthdays and Christmas, according to his buddy Van Jones

  by OnTheWayOut in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i saw this news scrolling at the bottom of the television screen this morning.

  i looked it up.

  not much of a story, but it certainly has the ring of truth to it.

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  Pete Zahut

  If Obama can't stop people like Prince from abusing drugs and obtaining illegal prescriptions, how's he supposed to ban birthdays and Christmas?
  
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  15

  JW Apprentice in Hair Salon.

  by Disassociated Lady 2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my hairdresser warned me that he had taken on a jw apprentice and asked me what i thought.

  she attends the kh that disfellowhipped me.

  i told him that i would have to be careful about what i said concerning my personal life as she would report back anything she heard to the elders.

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  Pete Zahut

  If that JW apprentice is smart she'll keep her mouth shut and won't create any waves (unless she's giving someone a perm of course)

  At the old Hall I used to attend, there was a brother who was a Barber and he used to "witness" to his customers and warn them about Armageddon etc. He eventually got fired because one time he had a older guy in his chair, who was lathered up for a shave and as he reached for the straight razor he said to the man, "I have a question for you...are you prepared to die?"
  
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  27

  Angry and scared

  by BlackWolf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i feel like everything that comes out of my mothers mouth is something negative and cringe worthy.

  all she seems to talk about with me is how terrible and demonic our disfellowshipped relatives are, how horrible the world and holidays are, or how she is so much better and "holier than thou".

  it really makes me sick sometimes.

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  Pete Zahut

  Pete zahut: I appreciate your advice a lot but the thing is that i have done exactly those things and it only seems to anger my parents even more. Every time they ask I just say that it's my own decision to make when I'm ready, and then my dad just says "well, when will you be ready?".

  It's not the end of the world if your parents get angry...people get angry, they disagree about things, its a fact of life. They'll just have to get over it won't they? All parents have to come to terms with the fact that their kids are growing up and it's perfectly normal for them to want to keep their thoughts to themselves once in awhile.

  Get comfortable with not feeling as if you have to please everyone all of the time. They are choosing to make a big deal over this. It's not up to you to deal with their feelings if they choose not to accept your answer. You're the kid, your parents well being isn't your responsibility.

  As I said before, if you've given your parents a solid answer such as " It's my decision and I'll let you know what my plans are when the time comes" and yet they keep asking or want further information, you should remain respectful and calm but tell them in a lighthearted way with a smile on your face "Oh no...you must have forgotten that we've already talked this over. Ok..once again, I need you to respect the fact that dedicating my life to someone or something is a personal decision and it is between me and Jehovah only. "

  Then say no more....just smile and change the subject or go on about your business. If they pursue the subject you could laugh and say in a joking sing song way " I can't hearrrr youuuu....I'm not listeninggg " Don't be to serious and grim with your parents when anything JW related comes up.

  Part of the problem here is that as a young person and (somewhat because you are female), you probably don't like the discomfort that comes along with standing up for yourself when you need to, and in order to avoid the discomfort you become overly serious and responsible and revert to being a little girl and give in to their unreasonableness . People (even parents) can become quite pushy when dealing with others who are too willing to please everyone all the time. We sometimes need to let them know where their boundaries are and the better we are at doing this in a light hearted yet firm way, the less conflict we'll have.
  

  Your parents deserve your respect but they are going beyond their "bible based" authority by trying to force you into doing something you don't want to do or aren't ready for. It's perfectly OK to set boundaries on this topic and respectfully remind them that you're not going to budge until you're ready.

  This is why you need to talk to someone (a professional) who can advise you on how to deal with this situation and help you figure out what your options are. You'll have the courage of your convictions once you have a plan and have facts to base them on.
  
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  27

  Angry and scared

  by BlackWolf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i feel like everything that comes out of my mothers mouth is something negative and cringe worthy.

  all she seems to talk about with me is how terrible and demonic our disfellowshipped relatives are, how horrible the world and holidays are, or how she is so much better and "holier than thou".

  it really makes me sick sometimes.

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  Pete Zahut

  Hugs Blackwolf....did you ever seek advice from a counselor at the high school nearest you or at your town's local public health center as was recommended in your earlier post? If not I hope you do.

  Perhaps by saying "I don't know", you're being too vague with your Mom . Maybe the next time your Mom brings up the subject of your baptism, you could respectfully remind her that getting baptized it a personal decision and you understand why she keeps asking you about it, but you'd like the decision to be made in your own time rather than because you are being pressured into it. Tell her you'll let her know when you've made a decision and until then you'd appreciate it if she'd stop asking you about it.

  Mom: The end is so close...when are you getting baptized Blackwolf??

  You: Mom...I get why you keep bringing this up but I really need to do this in my own time. Every time you ask me that question it makes me feel that I'd only be doing it because you are forcing me to rather than because I'm ready. I promise I'll let you know when I've reached a decision, until then it would really help if you didn't ask me about it anymore?

  If she disagrees or argues, just look her in the eye and respectfully listen and no matter how hard it may be not to comment on what she says, just listen. You've given her an answer, stick to it and make no further comment. Gently change the subject each time she brings it up.

  Mom: Have you given baptism any more thought?

  You: We talked about this before Mom....so anyway, do you need any help making dinner? I was thinking I'd make a salad.

  Mom: I asked you a question.

  You: Do we have any fresh lettuce?
  
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  31

  Living with Your Parents Well Into Adulthood the Norm?

  by Sorry in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i don't want to seem like a jerk.

  i know full well economic times are not the greatest.

  there's no shame in struggling and staying with your family until you're back on your feet.

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  Pete Zahut

  Depending upon the circumstances, it can work out well for both the parents and the kid for the kids to stay longer at home than expected. We have a garage that we converted into a studio apt for our oldest son and his wife so they could stay there and save for a place of their own rather than making some landlord rich. I put in a mini kitchen, a bathroom and finished it off with some nice touches such as crown molding, track lighting and a french door. They have a nice new home now and so our youngest son has moved in and is doing the same thing. We enjoyed having them and hardly knew they were here most of the time.

  Having said that, I think there should be a definite plan in place and a time limit if adult kids plan to stay on in the family home.

  There was an elder and his family that attended our hall who had two very heavyset adult daughters that lived at home and Pioneered and were Nannies. One of the daughters used to bring the kids she watched, to the meetings and assemblies. At the last circuit assembly I attended she was once again hauled up on stage at 36 years of age, to talk about having taken a stand in high school by refusing an invitation from a "worldly" boy to go to the Prom.

  Speaker: "Mindy...what advice would you give to our young ones who are being tempted to participate in school activities."

  Mindy: "Well Brother Smith, I faced these temptations in high School. I was once asked to the senior prom by a worldly boy."

  Brother: "How did you handle this situation Mindy?"

  Mindy: " He was a nice boy but even so, I told him NO !!! He and the other kids respected me because I let my yes mean yes and my no mean no. "

  It was pathetic to think of this young woman having turned down a simple invitation to do something fun 18 years previously and wound up still living in her childhood bedroom, pioneering and taking care of other peoples kids. There were smirks on the faces of the high school girls in front of us. I heard one of them whisper "it's so sad she never got married because she loves kids so much."

  Time has a way of flying by and opportunities for personal growth are often missed when one takes the easy route and stays on it for too long.
  
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  34

  The December Broadcast... OMG- what the heck was that?

  by Sliced in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  "of course not- we want to eat from clean dishes!

  dishes that have been cleaned thoroughly inside and out.

  " we have to be sure the things entering our minds are clean... rejecting exciting fun stuff that features sex.

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  Pete Zahut

  The dishes may be clean but what's the point if the food served on them is tainted ?